


You Can Lie to Me and Say You Don't (But I Know You Do)

by QueenKatniss



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bellarke, Clarke sets out to seduce her bff bellamy, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mutual Pining, it doesn't go as planned, this may be two parts, title from Maddie and Tay song
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-29
Updated: 2018-11-29
Packaged: 2019-09-02 06:37:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,317
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16781584
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenKatniss/pseuds/QueenKatniss
Summary: Bellamy and Clarke are good friends, who secretly pine for each other. One night Clarke decides to do something about it. Angst ensues. But don't worry, I don't end my fics unhappily.\\\Their eyes locked, blue to brown, and neither dared to break the quiet that balanced itself around them.Clarke’s chest hammered, her pulse thrummed at her neck. Bellamy's eyes were blown wide, his hand firm against her ribs. All she could imagine in that moment was pulling his face down to hers and kissing him. Something in his eyes told her he’d kiss her back. That he wanted to close the gap as badly as she did.So why didn’t he?





	You Can Lie to Me and Say You Don't (But I Know You Do)

Bellamy rested his head on the pillow directly behind her. He could see the television fine over her sunny top-knot, but he was fighting to actually remember the plot of what they were watching. It had been Clarke’s night to choose, and he was fairly certain it was something true crime related. He couldn’t recall the name at the moment. His entire body seemed too focused on keeping his hands and hips still.

Clarke had insisted on laying down directly in front of him, her back pressed to his front, to watch the show. Claiming that the couch was deep enough to lay together, and it was no fair that he’d claimed that end of the couch because it was “the best viewing spot in the entire living room.” When he’d offered to let her lay there and he’d lay at the other end, she shrugged him off and said he could just be her personal heater since “this apartment is always kept just barely above freezing.”

Bellamy tended to run hot so the apartment he shared with his sister, Octavia, was known to be way colder than necessary in the eyes of his friends.

What he hadn’t anticipated, though, was his sister’s (and his own, if he was honest) best friend to snuggle into him the way she did. Clarke had draped her favorite fluffy blanket over herself and Bellamy. He’d kicked one athletic-shorts-clad leg out and it arched behind her. His left arm was bent beneath the pillow under his head, and after a few minutes of awkwardly trying to rest his right arm on his side, and then trying and failing to rest it comfortably on the back of the couch, Clarke had rolled her eyes and pulled it beneath the cover to lay over her waist.

“Chill,” she muttered. And that was that.

Clarke was never big on showing physical affection, even though Octavia and Bellamy both were. She’d opened up to it more since becoming friends with them both, but touches between she and Bellamy were always more casual. A hug in greeting, a peck on the cheek when saying goodbye, a hand over his when he’d had a bad day. Those touches meant the world to Bellamy, because it meant she was opening up to him. He tried not to feel any jealousy that she was always more hands-on with Octavia. He just assumed she may be more comfortable with Octavia because she was a girl, and closer to Clarke’s age. Or, maybe Clarke was attracted to Octavia and she didn’t feel that way toward Bellamy.

Like he said, he tried not to overthink it.

However, having her so close, and the added feeling of having an arm wrapped around her middle, was intoxicating. Cuddling like this was new for them. And Bellamy tried hard to not let any parts of himself show it was affecting him.

Octavia lounged in the recliner to their left, already half asleep. Her sleek brown hair was still damp from her shower and spread out on the worn leather. Her cloudy blue eyes were drooping as she halfheartedly tried to keep them open.

Bellamy was wide awake behind Clarke, and it seemed she was too. Her hands were folded beneath her head as she watched the detectives on screen try to solve the case. He tried to keep his eyes off her profile, he really did. But she was so soft. Her shoulder length blonde waves were piled into a messy bun atop her head, leaving her neck bare. The loose t shirt she wore was old and threadbare and loose at the neck. Actually, come to think of it, it used to be his. He’d given it to Octavia months ago because it was too small and she’d mentioned it would make a good sleep shirt for her. Hmm, she must’ve loaned it to Clarke. He added not thinking about how his shirt on her made him feel to his list of things to not think about while she laid in his arms.

Of course, Clarke chose this moment to shift slightly and the t shirt neck eased over one shoulder. He was rewarded a view of a lack of bra strap, and the thought made his pulse quicken. Her neck was long and creamy, with shallow dips at her collarbone. It led up to a sharp little chin that sat below a full mouth and perky nose. A dark beauty mark sat directly to the right of it. Her cheeks were bare at the moment, having washed her face after soccer practice, and all that remained of her makeup was remnants of sooty mascara that haloed impossibly bright blue eyes.

He looked back to the screen as emotion for her threatened to swirl. She was his sister’s best friend. She was his best friend. Being nuts about her wasn’t changing that.  
His forearm still rested over her waist, and his hand hung in front of her, just barely grazing her stomach.  
It was driving her insane.

Clarke didn’t want to be too obvious, she didn’t want to spring this wanton side of herself on him, but she was getting tired of waiting on him to make the first move.

Octavia had called her out early on in their friendship. She said she wasn’t exactly skilled at hiding her crush on Bellamy, except when it came to Bellamy himself. And while he was still completely oblivious, Octavia wasn’t. She then threatened to break several of Clarke’s bones if she ever hurt him, but ultimately said to go for it with him. She’d smiled slyly at Clarke and mentioned she figured Bellamy would probably be open to dating her, but that he’d never make the first move. He was way too respectful, and filled the big brother role a little too easily when it came to Octavia’s friends.

That had been months ago, and while Clarke’s crush had only grown exponentially, she’d never received any sign from Bellamy that he felt the same. Octavia had practically given up on them at this point, so she ignored them and how pathetic they were.

Tonight, though, she’d decided to be bold and try something different. She’d worn this t shirt of Octavia’s, knowing it was his before it’d become hers. She’d chosen soft and loose cotton sleep shorts that were impossibly short. Clarke knew her strengths when it came to her looks, and she played heavily on them. Her legs were toned and just slightly golden, despite being paler on her calves (darn shin guards she wore for soccer blocked the sunlight there.) She had fantastic boobs, firm and heavy, that gave her shape even in a baggy t shirt. Her skin was, at the moment, clear, aside from one blemish she’d damned to hell and covered with a dab of concealer after her shower. And her eyes; she knew they were a killer. She’d left her mascara on to rim them, make them appear even larger and bluer, and against the rest of her face being bare, she knew they drew attention.

Clarke wanted to use all the weapons in her arsenal tonight, and see if she could get Bellamy Bradbury Blake to look at her with anything other than fondness or annoyance.

At the moment, though, he was staring at the tv and being entirely too still.

She shifted a bit to draw his attention, and she could’ve sworn she heard his breath catch. Out of her periphery she saw his eyes shoot to her and she forced her expression to remain neutral. Her blood began to heat when he didn’t look back at the tv immediately, but kept those dark eyes on her. She could almost feel the touch on her skin as his gaze tracked down her neck and shoulder, then back up to her mouth, before reaching her eyes again.

_Oh,_ she thought. _Maybe I have some effect on him after all?_

The thought made her giddy and she fought to keep a smile off her mouth.

His eyes landed back on the tv and he stayed stone still.

Octavia shifted on the recliner and let out a creaky yawn. Clarke caught the contagious side effect and yawned herself, stretching as she did so and arching her back. Her bottom pressed firmly against Bellamy and his hand snapped to her hip like a snake. His hand on her was hard and kept her from moving back any farther. The yawn died in her throat as she sank back to her prior position, but still against him.

The touch of him at her hip sent a jolt of lust straight to her core. If he hadn’t been holding her still she might not have been able to resist grinding against his lap again. Instead she just relaxed and pretended nothing was different.

Bellamy cleared his throat and relaxed his grip, shutting his eyes to concentrate on sending his blood to literally any other part of his body that wasn’t his groin. It wasn’t working. He could feel himself start to swell and knew she’d be able to feel it soon. Knowing he’d be mortified to have her know the impact her perfect butt had on him, he shifted minutely farther back into the couch. It didn’t make much difference but he hoped it would be enough to keep himself under control.

Clarke’s heart fell as he distanced his body from hers. That was too far, she shouldn’t have done that. She felt her confidence slip and she pulled away slightly, so they were no longer touching.

That was stupid; arching into him like that. What was she thinking? Because she caught him staring at her when he thought she couldn’t see? Because he didn’t seem to mind having an arm draped over her waist?

Just because she was wearing his old t shirt didn’t mean he would be inclined to want her as more than a friend.

Breath threatened to lodge in her throat and she cleared it before murmuring, “sorry,” under her breath, hoping it would be low enough Octavia wouldn’t hear.

Bellamy’s eyes whipped to her face and though she was looking at the screen, her cheeks were pink. Fuck, he thought. He’d embarrassed her.

He gentled his hold on her hip and circled a thumb across a strip of skin at her back. Then he ducked his head close to her ear. “S’okay. Trying not to embarrass myself. Okay, princess?”  
The words were barely more than syllables of breath but they’d slipped into her ear and now spread themselves out, tickling every part of her as they made their way into every ventricle and artery and pore on her body.

Feeling his breath against her made her ache, even if he was just trying to spare her feelings by pretending he'd moved back for his own benefit, instead of because she'd made him uncomfortable.

It was a very Bellamy thing to do.

She turned her attention back to the show and tried not to think about how this night wasn't going the way she'd hoped.

Octavia lasted ten more minutes before she was softly snoring with her back to them.

Clarke had felt Bellamy's muscles loosen behind her not long before that, and she'd gone still in hopes that she wouldn't make him tense around her again.

The knowledge that Octavia was now asleep seemed to press a button alerting her brain that technically she was alone with Bellamy. His hand still sat at her hip, his thumb still dipped beneath her (his) t shirt, but they hadn't spoken again.

As the episode began to wind down Clarke felt as if time itself was ticking to a close on these moments she had with him.

But what could she do? Despite Octavia’s claims that Bellamy would be open to something with her, she had no reason to think he would. That was clear enough when she’d rubbed against him and he, more or less, said ‘no thanks.’ Humiliation threatened to choke her. So she settled on just enjoying the feel of his hand on her hip and knowing that it's all he wanted to give, and promised herself a good cry and a pint of ice cream when she went home tomorrow.

Bellamy wanted to drown himself.

She hadn't moved a muscle in half an hour, he could barely even see her chest move with breath. He'd really screwed it up, hadn't he? She wasn't making any goofy comments about the show, or complaining about how cold the apartment was. He'd brought attention to the fact that her ass was going to get him hard, and now she was terrified to move. This is the opposite of how he'd ever want her to react at the thought of turning him on.

He should make a joke, or put this hand back around her waist, since she'd been comfortable with that.

The show was almost at end credits, and he knew another one would start automatically. Neither of them moved to turn it off or leave. A new episode queued up and played the title song while they both stayed still.

Something in the music roused Octavia, because she jerked awake to peer blearily around the room. Her eyes landed on the pair on the couch and she huffed, sitting the recliner forward to stand up.

“I'm goin’a bed. Clarke, you coming?” Octavia asked but didn't wait for an answer, just pulled the afghan around her shoulders and disappeared down the hall.

Clarke inwardly sighed, knowing she had no excuse now to stay cuddled with Bellamy. She shifted to answer Octavia when Bellamy's voice rang out, “We're gonna watch one more episode, O.”

Happiness zipped through her that he wanted her to stay, too. She peaked over her shoulder and smiled at him.

“Is that okay?” he asked, worried he'd overstepped if she had wanted to get away from him.

“Of course. I wanted to anyway.”

He smiled softly at her and she couldn't stop her heart from tumbling a little at the sight.

She snuggled her back against his chest again and he slipped his hand from her hip to her waist. The heat from him thrilled her and she was glad to be back on sure footing with him. He didn't want her to go.

Bellamy dropped his chin to the top of her head when she turned back to the TV.

There, crisis averted. Back to normal.

Even if this wasn't the normal either of them actually wanted.

* * *

They watched 2 more episodes, with Clarke’s constant comments on how she'd already figured out the killer, or on how bad the reenactment was. They were both laughing at her terrible British accent and Bellamy forgot all about the awkwardness from before. Clarke was smiling and shaking with laughter against his chest, her eyes were bright and carefree, this is how he always wanted to see her. He loved how easily her happiness came when the two of them were together. How much lighter he felt to be near her.

The hand at her waist slipped around to her stomach and squeezed her to him; hugging her from behind where they laid, hauling her against him, just to be closer to her. Before he had time to realize what he'd done and freeze, Clarke had lifted her right arm to hook around his neck and pull him closer, her hand carded into his black curls.

She turned to look up as he looked down at her, their faces mere inches apart. Both of them froze at the same moment, both realizing how tangled they were around the other, but neither moved.

Their eyes locked, blue to brown, and neither dared to break the quiet that balanced itself around them.

Clarke’s chest hammered, her pulse thrummed at her neck. Bellamy's eyes were blown wide, his hand firm against her ribs. All she could imagine in that moment was pulling his face down to hers and kissing him. Something in his eyes told her he’d kiss her back. That he wanted to close the gap as badly as she did.

So why didn’t he?

He’d never been this close to her, never held her in his arms this way, never had her respond to him like this. Her gaze had dropped to his mouth and then back to his eyes; he didn’t imagine it. She wanted to kiss him. And he wanted nothing more than to kiss her right now.

But he didn’t.

The moment lasted only seconds more. And then something broke, and it was over.

Clarke felt her heart crack and Bellamy watched the look of joy slide out of her eyes. She pulled her hand out of his hair and sat up. He pulled his arm back from her and sat up onto his left elbow. Suddenly chilled to the bone, he watched her stand and adjust her shorts.

_Say something. Say something. Say something._

Clarke untangled herself from the blanket and stepped around the coffee table.

_Say something. Say something._

He watched her walk around the back of the couch with her head lowered, and disappear down the hallway.

Bellamy didn’t hear from Clarke for three days. He’d texted her several times and she’d never answered. Her SnapChat stories had stayed empty, as well as the rest of her social media, and it was unlike her. Not that she updated them constantly, but little snippets of her life weren’t uncommon to find there.

For three days it had been radio silence. Even after soccer practices, where it had been commonplace for Clarke to give Octavia a ride home and then hang out at their place for a bit, Clarke suddenly had other commitments. Twice she’d driven Octavia home and left immediately, and the other time she said she couldn’t even drive her there, and that Octavia would have to get a ride with one of the other teammates.

Octavia had been pissed and called Bellamy to come pick her up.

“Clarke can’t drive you? Why not?” he’d asked, yelling over the sound of equipment surrounding him.

“I don’t know, Bellamy, she just bailed. She’s been doing it all week.”

It was unlike Clarke to blow Octavia off like this, and he knew he was the reason behind it.

“I’ll check in with her later. Stay put, I’ll come get you.”

That night after getting off work, he half expected Clarke to be back in his apartment, curled up studying with Octavia, or munching on chips before he could get dinner ready. But she wasn’t. Walking in and finding the apartment one less smart-mouth blonde made him ache. He missed her terribly.

Octavia pouted over her homework on the couch, in the same spot where Bellamy had his almost-kiss with Clarke.

“What’s up?” he tried to ask casually.

“Clarke’s a terrible person. I don’t want to ever see her again.”

Bellamy’s dark brows rose in alarm. “Octavia, don’t talk like that about her. She’s your best friend.” And mine. Hopefully, still.

“I don’t care Bellamy! She’s a mess! She signed up for something at her mom’s hospital and it’s right after soccer practice. She can’t take me home at all anymore, because the hospital is all the way on the other side of town and she won’t have time to take me home without being late. She already does so many extra curriculars, Bell, it’s ridiculous! She has absolutely no reason to take on this, too. And I asked if she wanted to come over and binge something with us this weekend, and she got all fluttery and said she’d have to figure out what she has time for. But that I’m welcome to come spend the night. When she knows I hate sleeping over there because I don’t like being around Abby and Kane. I’m so angry at her right now I can’t even see!”

Octavia slammed her book shut and stormed off to her room before he could get a word in.

Bellamy sat in his room a few hours later. He’d tried calling Clarke but voicemail had picked up every time. He needed to sort this out before a friendship was ruined. Either Octavia’s with Clarke or his own with her, he couldn’t be sure.

He was flipping his phone over and over in his hand when he heard Clarke’s voice ring out from the other room.

She was here.

His heart flipped over in his chest and he sprang to his feet. Opening his door he was down the hall in three bounds before he realized her voice sounded off, it was tinny and hollow.

Realizing why as he entered the kitchen, his stomach dropped. She wasn’t here, she was on Octavia’s tablet, which was propped against the bananas on the counter. Octavia moved around the kitchen, fixing herself a bowl of cereal while she talked.

“Well I’m going to at least pretend you’re here, then. Since you can’t help but blow me off every day now.”

“Octavia-” Clarke began.

“No, no, I’m just being petty. I get it. Whatever. Just let me be dramatic.”

“As always,” Clarke laughed through the speaker.

Bellamy was still behind the tablet so she didn’t know he was nearby. It didn’t feel fair to listen to them talk when she was purposely not speaking to him, so he spoke to Octavia, loud enough for the microphone to pick up.

“I see you two have patched things up.”

Octavia flipped him off without looking in his direction, but Clarke stayed quiet.

He walked around the counter as casually as he could, without looking at the screen, though he was desperate to see her face. Octavia kept up a string of chatter while Clarke stayed mostly quiet, only humming assent here and there. Bellamy retrieved a water from the fridge and unscrewed the cap before looking at the screen.

Clarke sat on her bed, cross legged, with a pillow tucked against her stomach. Her hair was down, curtaining the sides of her face. Her eyes, that brilliant blue, were dimmed with shadows beneath them. Bellamy’s heart broke, and it must’ve read on his face, because she quickly plastered on her Clarke-Everything-is-Fine-Griffin fake smile.

“What’s up?” she asked too cheerily.

“Not much. You haven’t been answering my texts or calls lately.” he chided with no heat behind it.

Her eyes fell but the artificial smile held, “Oh, yeah, sorry, just been pretty busy lately.”

“I’ve heard.” He didn’t try to mask the hurt in his voice or on his face. Clarke met his eyes through the screen for a moment, then looked away. Octavia started talking again while Bellamy stood behind her, well in view of Clarke. After another few minutes, he picked up his phone and sent Clarke a text, then watched her pick up her phone on screen.

Bellamy 8:14 pm - _Caught you._

Watching her small smile bloom was almost worth missing her this badly. Almost.

Another week went by before she was actually, physically, in his home again. Although they texted every couple of days, things were kept very simple, and neither breached the subject of their cuddle session. Bellamy had almost decided he’d dreamed the whole thing, until he’d hit another snag in their conversation and he didn’t know where to take it. That kind of awkwardness had never been there before, and now it was, and he hated it.

Finally, on Saturday afternoon, he’d come in from an early shift at the dock to find her perched on his couch. Seeing her, in the flesh, stopped him cold. “Hi,” he breathed.

Clarke returned his gaze and smiled, and this time it almost met her eyes.

* * *

A couple of hours later, Clarke was pulling up her Netflix account on the tv in the living room. Octavia had gone to take a shower, leaving her alone for the first time since her arrival around noon. Clarke tried not to think about the fact that Bellamy had gone to his room shortly after arriving home, saying he’d give them space to hang out since they hadn’t seen each other outside of school and practice for over a week. She tried even harder not to think about how she hadn’t seen him at all in that length of time, except for one piece of a Skype call, or that the ache of missing him had left a dent in her chest.

She’d abandoned the memory of him wrapped around her, of his breath in her ear, deep within her mind and claimed to have forgotten where. The shame that had come from offering herself to him so completely and his refusal to give her an ounce hadn’t been dumped off so easily.

She clicked through the titles when her phone lit up beside her.

Bellamy 6:36 pm - I’m in my room. Can you come in here?

Bellamy 6:36 pm - Please?

Clarke’s heart did two quick somersaults but she made herself take a deep breath, then shake her head.

Instead of answering his texts, she just stood and strode down the hall to his door. After a quick tap on the doorframe, she let herself in.

Bellamy sat on his bed with his phone in one hand and a book in the other. His hair was mussed and he wore gray athletic shorts and a green t shirt, his feet bare. He sat both his items aside when she came in.

“Hey,” he breathed at the sight of her.

“Hey,” she answered, tucking a strand of hair behind one ear, and shut the door behind her.

“Come sit, please.”

He scooted over and patted the space next to him.

Clarke’s chest felt as if it were sinking into her spine. What was this about? Was he going to give her some kind of “let her down easy” spiel? Oh by the by, about that almost kiss we had, I think of you more as a sister and I hope I’m not the reason you’ve been mopey as hell for a week. *Elbow nudge* See you around!

She knew she was being ridiculous, but the thought of being rejected yet again put her back up.

Instead of sitting she just asked, “What’s this about, Bellamy?”

He didn’t seem to be taken aback by her forwardness; in fact he seemed relieved.

“Clarke, I need to apologize.”

All the color drained from her face and she spun for the door. She’d just go home. Coming back here was a mistake, and she’d ruined everything. She’d just -

Bellamy flew from the bed, caught her wrist, and whipped her to face him. Her eyes spit daggers but she said nothing, her jaw clenched tight.

“Clarke,” he begun and lifted a hand to cup her face. She flinched and looked away, and pain ricocheted through his chest like a bullet. He dropped his hand as she spoke.

“I don’t want your apologies, Bellamy. I don’t want you to say you’re sorry for hurting my feelings, or sorry for rejecting me, or sorry I thought there was something there that wasn’t. I don’t want your sorries that I’m not what you want, or that I embarrassed myself by thinking you could want me the way I-” She caught herself and cleared her throat, and took a breath that came out as a sob. Tears burned her eyes and she clenched her fists tightly, willing them not to fall.

A visceral part of Bellamy wanted to reach out and pull her to him, to wrap her in his arms and let her bury herself in his chest, let her cry into him and let him take the pain away. Even though he knew she wouldn’t receive that offer well, he wanted to demand it anyway, to give her no choice but to let him comfort her when she needed it.

But the other part of him stood in his room totally stunned. His eyes were like saucers, his breathing heavy as he watched her try to will her tears away. She didn’t want his apologies for- for what? He’d never reject her! Is that what she thought? She thinks she felt something there that wasn’t? None of this made sense.

He stood staring at her like a maniac until she spoke again.

“Just- just don’t apologize, okay? We can pretend it was nothing if that’s what it was, but don’t make me feel dumber for it than I already do, please.”

Bellamy stood where he was, dumbfounded, until she turned for the door again.

_Say something._

“Clarke, wait.”

To his surprise, she stopped, but didn’t turn to face him.

“Clarke, I- I don’t know what happened on your end of things two weeks ago. But I didn’t reject you.”

Her bright eyes were filled with confusion when she turned to look at him. “What? Of course you did.”

He peered down at her. “No, I’d never reject you, Clarke. Not ever. I hurt your feelings and I’m so, so sorry for that. I never, ever meant to.”

“Bellamy, you’re not making any sense. You pushed me away! How is that not rejecting me?!”

Bellamy’s brows creased and he ran a hand over his face. “Is that what you think that was? That I pushed you away? Clarke, I pulled away because I didn’t want to be a perv and let you feel my hard-on against your ass.”

“Bell, why would you ever think I’d think you were a perv? You’re respectful of me to the point of madness! I push my butt against you and you pull away, what am I supposed to think, other than that you don’t want me.”

“I told you that night, when you said ‘sorry’ that I did that for me. So that I wouldn’t embarrass myself in front of you.”

“Oh that’s garbage and I knew it then. I freaked you out and you let me down easy, that’s what happened.”

“Clarke, nothing about that night was me letting you down easy! That night was only ever about how badly I wanted to kiss you, and then me chickening out.”

“That’s-” she stopped short. “That’s idiocy, Bell. Plain idiocy. I wore your old t shirt with no bra, and short shorts. I made up some ridiculous excuse to lay with you. I caught you staring at me while we watched tv, and then stretched while yawning to push my butt against your dick. Not only do you not respond to anything, you even go so far as to pull away from me. Your hand stayed either on my hip or on my waist the entire time, while you’re laying there still as a scarecrow. Then, when we finally loosen back up, you pull me against you, I think ‘finally, maybe I was wrong, because he sure looks like he wants to kiss me too,’ and then you don’t! I got up and went to Octavia’s room and you never said a word! What else should I have taken from that, other than Bellamy doesn’t like me like that?”

Bellamy stood stock still, barely comprehending what he’d just heard. “You felt that way? That I didn’t want you. Clarke, all I could do that night was keep myself under control.”

He stepped into her space and she raised her chin to look at him as he spoke.

“You decide to lay with me, and you’re in this sexy little outfit, all legs and neck and gorgeous eyes. Just you laying with me, way before the yawn, I was fighting to keep myself under control. You caught me staring? Fine, I wasn’t being very subtle anyway. I was definitely staring. At your mouth, your jaw, your eyes, your neck, the t shirt - my t shirt -, the fact that you had on no bra. I was just trying to keep myself from - I dunno - biting your neck or something else insane. I stayed still because all I wanted to do was yank you against me and slide my hand beneath your - my - shirt, feel your soft skin beneath my hands. I kept my hand at your hip because it was everything I could do not to twist your face around and explore that gorgeous mouth with my tongue. I pulled away because I knew if you so much as twitched against me after that lovely back arch that you’d feel how brick hard I was. And there would be no doubt left in your mind that I wanted absolutely nothing but you.”

Clarke panted as she looked away. The room was too hot and he was standing so close.

“So,” she barely whispered, “why didn’t you kiss me? When I turned to look up at you at the end of the night. I knew you wanted to.” All confusion, she glanced back at him. “If it was all you could do to keep your hands and mouth to yourself that night, then why couldn’t you see I wanted it, too?”

He met and held her eyes. She was so impeccably beautiful, so open with him right now. He knew from experience that being vulnerable was never easy for her. It added weight to everything she’d said. Clarke didn’t say things she didn’t mean, and she didn’t ask questions she didn’t want the answers to. So he gave her the only answer he’d come up with in his time away from her.

“Because, Clarke, what if I was wrong? What if it was all in my head, and you’d finally opened up enough to be physical with me in that way - cuddling and snuggling, I mean - and then I go and break your trust?”

Clarke shook her head but let him continue.

“I thought I’d freaked you out by calling attention to what your ass was going to do to me. I thought I’d screwed something up. So I kept still, and I stayed respectful. And, gosh, I couldn’t even do that for long because I slipped up, I pulled you against me again without thinking. I wanted to hold you. And when you turned to me, I thought maybe, just maybe, you want me to kiss you as badly as I do. But I was terrified - absolutely petrified - of scaring you off. You’re-” he broke off and looked down at her hands before grabbing one and holding it between both of his. “You’re… important to me Clarke. Other than O, you’re… you’re the most important person in my life. I couldn’t stand to lose your trust just because I can’t keep my hands to myself.”

Clarke’s eyes were misted and wide as she gazed up at him. His big hands enveloped hers so easily, with so much warmth. His face was stripped naked, no barriers, no cocky demeanor, no flirtatious grin or stony wall of indifference, no masks at all. Every word sat heavy and genuine.

He wanted her. He’d never meant to reject her, he just never wanted to lose her, either. She meant something to him. Something huge.

Clarke turned her hand over and pressed her palm to his, linking their fingers. She stepped into him so that they were toe-to-toe, chin-to-forehead, as she peered up to meet his eyes.

“You could never lose me, Bellamy.”

He kept his eyes on hers and let out a long breath through his nose. Leaning down, he pressed his forehead to hers and closed his eyes.  
“Ditto, Princess.”

Before she could second-guess anything else she pushed up onto the pads of her feet. Turning her head, she slotted her mouth against Bellamy’s.

His grip on her hand turned to iron. The barest of a whimper slipped from her lips, and Bellamy reached for her just as she pulled away.

He chased her and had just barely brushed her lips again when her hand fisted in his shirt and dragged him closer, crushing their mouths together.

Control snapped and his hands sprung to the back of her head, tilting her just-so to fit his lips against hers. Their mouths brushed and bruised and took. Clarke licked a wet stripe across his bottom lip and he opened on a groan. She dove her tongue into his mouth to meet his, and the glide and the taste was almost too much all at once. She moaned into his mouth at the contact as he intoxicated her. Looping her arms around his neck, she drew him into her, greedy for the feel of his body and the sweetness of his tongue.

Bellamy felt like he was dreaming, only the lines of Clarke’s body against his were too firm, the heat of her mouth under his too rich, and the galloping of his heart would’ve surely woken him by now. He slid his hands from her hair to track down her neck, to the outer edges of her breasts, down to her ribs and around her back. Pinning her to him, he lifted her barely off the floor and turned them to his bed. His mouth never left hers as he laid her down on the mattress and covered her body with his. She didn’t even seem to notice.

With his weight pushing her into the bed, he dipped a hand back into her hair at her neck and pulled her head back slightly. Her mouth opened further and he licked into it, swiping across her teeth and the roof of her mouth.

Clarke gasped and groaned, arching herself beneath him. Hot coals sat low in her belly, and she squirmed to find the friction to fan them. But Bellamy’s weight held her still.

Fisting handfuls of his hair, she kissed him fervently. She suckled his bottom lip into her mouth to lap at it gently with her tongue. He let out a shuddering breath and bucked into her. She whined and dragged her teeth over it. He pushed against her again.

Her voice cracked when she begged, “Bellamy, I need you.”

He dipped forward to taste her again before answering.

“You have me, Clarke. You have all of me, you have no idea.”

His words rocked her and tears stung her eyes. The fire in her belly roared and she felt blistered from the inside out. A need she couldn’t name overcame every sense.

“Bell,” she panted, “get me naked.”

“Claaaarrke,” he groaned as he shifted again, sliding his hardness against her center. She crooned at the pressure and spread her legs. Heat enveloped him through their layers of clothing.

It was all he could do not to rip what barriers were between them and push deep inside her.

“Clarke,” he repeated, trying to gain his sanity, “Octavia is just in the other room. I-” he broke off to kiss her deeply because he couldn’t not. with her eyes blown dark and her cheeks tinted hotly, hair like gold across his sheets. “I want you, I just don’t want our first time to be in a rush, or quiet enough that she can’t hear.”

That stopped her short, and she paused her assault on his senses. “Our first time?” She smiled sweetly up at him. “You’ve thought about our first time, Bell?”

He’d have rolled his eyes if she didn’t look so surprised. “Of course I have.” He dipped his head to kiss her neck and she slanted her head to give him better access.

“What do you think about?”

He suckled at her pulse point below her ear and she pressed her breasts into him, the feeling her nipples against her own bra not nearly enough. Sliding his mouth down her neck, he dipped his tongue into the hollow of her throat. He slid a large hand across her rib cage and stopped just beneath her breast, tracing his thumb across the soft cotton. She keened softly in frustration.

“Almost every time I think about it, I start with your perfect tits.”

The words rolling off his tongue shot to her core. “Tell me.”

His hand closed over her and squeezed, and they rocked against each other. Her nipple was tightly budded and he could feel it through her bra and shirt. He swiped a thumb across the peak and she shuddered. He did it again and felt it stiffen further.

“I think about these gorgeous tits so much, baby.” To prove his point he circled her nipple through the fabric, then twice more, before taking the peak between two fingers and pinching tightly.

Clarke felt a gush of warmth between her thighs. She knew her panties were now soaked and her shorts probably were too. The need to have him buried in her threatened to overwhelm everything. At this point she was going to come just from the pressure he rocked against her clit and the feel of his fingers at her breast.

“Touch me. Please.”

Bellamy bent forward to kiss her senseless as he skimmed his fingertips beneath the edge of her shirt.

Bang, bang, bang.

“Clarke! Are you in there?” Octavia’s voice rang out from the other side of the bedroom door.

Bellamy leaped off the bed and Clarke sprang up after him. Panic filled her face at the thought of being caught hooking up with her best friend’s brother. Then she remembered that Octavia had given her the blessing to go for it months ago. She stepped close to him and whispered almost silently.

“She won’t care that we’re… doing this. She wanted me to act on this months ago, it’s fine.”

Bellamy’s face screwed up. “That’s incredibly weird. Did she- what - give you her blessing to have sex with me?” he whispered back.

“No, well, kind of? She knew I had a crush on you and told me it was fine if we dated. We didn’t get into specifics.”

“How long ago was this?” he hissed.

Before Clarke could answer Octavia banged on the door again. “Clarke? Bellamy? If I don’t hear an answer I’m coming in.”

“I’ll be right out, O. I’m just talking to Bellamy about something,” she yelled back.

There was a beat of silence. Then Octavia mumbled “mmhmm,” and shuffled away from the door.

Bellamy cocked an eyebrow at her. “I thought you said she didn’t care.”

“I still didn’t want her walking in to see us like… this.” She gestured vaguely at the two of them. Both their hair was in tangles, their clothes rumpled, lips swollen and red. Bellamy’s eyes still had that dreamy look to them, and Clarke’s pupils hadn’t shrunk to their normal size yet. Not to mention Bellamy’s softening manhood still clearly pressed against his shorts.

They both grinned at the sight of each other. She reached out to run her fingers through his curls to tamp their wildness. He shifted himself in his underwear and ducked his head a little.

The small moment of shyness melted her. He helped straighten her t shirt before tilting her head up. He ran a warm thumb across her swollen mouth.

“I can’t tell you how long I’ve wanted to kiss you, Clarke.”

She smiled and caught her lip between her teeth.

“Now that I have I don’t think I’ll be able to stop.”

Air clogged in her lungs at his voice, throaty and dark. She watched his eyes trace the movement as she released her lip.

“Good, me either.” she groaned, closing the space between them. His hands came up to cup her face when her lips touched his. Where she would’ve delved deep, he held her at bay. A gentle and soft melding of mouths, a slow caress against her tongue. Quiet and sure, he held her face close and glided his lips over, between, over hers. Clarke would’ve whimpered if she’d been able to breathe, instead she just held tightly onto his biceps.

Finally, with both of them aching, he let her go. He took her hand, and led her out of the bedroom.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!! This is probably the smuttiest thing I've ever posted lol. I have a second part to this (which realizes all of the almosts in part one [aka it's the smut we didn't get to.]) If you guys want that posted let me know!


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